The elliptical

I go to the gym very often. Like everyday often. When I enter I feel lazy and for the most part I don't want to be there. But as I begin my journey to a better body on the elliptical, I feel empowered and immediatly energized.

One of my...most difficult workout machines is the elliptical. Mostly due to the fact that I smoke. An entire black and Mild a day. Bad habit, I know but we all have our self-medication to satisfy.

I spend 20 minutes the elliptical. This is consecutive, strenuous, and heart-tiring jogging at minimum 4.0 speed. I love it. I might be a glutton for the pain. Its extreme to me. I am not the type of person to run or even sweat. So anything that requires the two of me is out of the question. On the other hand, I love to exercise. Enough so that I find that I take the time to put in the extra effort of speed up during the last 5mins.

I keep going. Staring at the numbers, making sure that I maintain the 4.0 speed, checking my heart rate, and accelerating because I want to ensure I get those extra calories burned.

Some perks are the screens attached to the elliptical. I mean, my gym is top notch. We have TVs screens connected to our machines to make us forget that we are exercising by letting us watch our favorite cable TV shows. LOL

I think I'm a weirdo for writing an entry on my infatuation with the elliptical.

Getting to know my mom

SO...


I'm in the process of gaining an understanding of my mom. For a very long time I didn't get my mom. She was and still is an extreme liar. It as if she has been a long time user of hard drugs. I'm talkin hard as in cocaine and other shit. This is weird, provided she always has something cynical to say about hard users.

I've always known her to lie about things that make her seem like she is a saint. But There is I have found out, it scares me to want to learn anymore. Its not my business cuz like me, she's a grown ass woman. Knowing anything new won't change anything. It will only help me understand her methods and why she is the way she is.

I HAVE learned so far that she has...Carck-head tendencies, she breaks up with her boyfriend then regrets it ASAP, She has late night hook ups and doesn't come home sometimes. There is more but SMH.

So now I have to pretty much read all the signs to see what kinda person she really is. My entire life has kinda been a lie and she feels no remorse about it at all. It's like she's numb. Who the hell raised me?! Thank you god for giving me common sense. Without it, I would be a next generation repeat.

Wish me luck on the quest